Saturday, November 1, 2014

From Frightening to Terrifiying

Before puberty, and for many years after....this was biggest heartbreak in my life.

"Man is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight!"

The late and legendary Larry Munson makes the greatest call in football history...can you hear the cries of a seven year old boy in the background.

The Gators were inches from ruining the Bulldogs perfect season...instead they helped to create a legend.

This is Florida's oldest and most intense rivalry...this is the game that matters more than all the others. It's played every year in Jacksonville, Florida at a neutral's known as " World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party ." World's largest wake this year.

Those of you who care already know the death spiral that Gator football is in...those who don't probably aren't interested. All you need to know is this...the best thing that can happen for the Gators today is for them to be blown out of the the moron they have "coaching" the team will be fired. I can't root for that's a conundrum. I'm like Sophie.

Touchdown Leghumpers...they're running at will.

Florida 0 - Georgia 7

What will surely be the best moment of the day...CBS just played clips from the game in 1970 with Allman Bros. cover of One Way Out for a soundtrack.

At least the Boy is still excited. He asks me everyday if Muschamp's been fired but, it's uncomplicated for him once they hit the field.

The Gators are moving the ball...:golfclap:

There's the Gators we've all come to know and loath...just snapped the ball over quarterbacks head and lost 15 - 20 yards.

I'll be damned...the Gators faked the field goal and scored a touchdown. McNeely the holder, all 5'8" 165 lbs, ran it in. Ha

Gators 7 - Georgia 7

Dammit y'all...the Gators are on the verge of scoring again. I'm so messed up in my head right now.

Touchdown Gators. I don't know whether to wind it or scratch it. There is no future for Florida football until Muschamps is gone but, I can't see a Gator football player steamroll a Bulldog and not be's congenital. Arghhhhhhhhh

Gators 14 - Flea Bags 7


Touchdown Gators. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Gators 21 - Dawgs 7

The Gators are stoning them on defense.  WTF?

It is unbelievably...

Gators 24 - Georgia 7. 

The Bulldogs know that the best thing for their long term future is for the blithering idiot to remain at Florida. They are throwing the game...I hate them.

The Gators look like the Dallas Freaking Cowboys. They're on the verge of scoring again...they'll save Muschump's job today and then go back to sucking ass and we'll be stuck with that idiot for another year.

Gators 31 - Georgia 7

Have you ever just decided to rip it up...get drunk as Cooter Brown, signing, dancing, smashing furniture, telling people who need to get ***** to go get *****....the time of your life. Then you wake up the next morning...and then the events of the previous night start coming back to you in wave after anxious wave. Right now I'm up on the bar waving my bare butt in the face of the entire state of Georgia. I'll be blacking out shortly and tomorrow I'm rushing for the toilet, it'll hit me like a bat....Will Muschamp is still the Gator football coach and will probably will be for another year.

Georgia managed a touchdown...but failed on the two point conversion.

Gators 31 - Mutts 13

Georgia's moved the ball right down the Gator 10 yard line. 6:00 left.

This is a Chinese fire drill...these ding dongs have no sense of clock management. Catching the ball where they can't get out of bounds to stop the clock...fumbling snaps.  They look the Gators actually.

The Gators just ripped off another touchdown and now the announcers are talking about how the German can keep his job now. That horseface &*&&*&*er Jeremy Foley is on the sidelines. I am officially sick to my stomach.

Gators 38 - Georgia's over.

And it's over for all Gator fans for another year.

Three Hours Later...

Either I've settled down enough or the booze are finally working but, I'm emotionally available for football again...and we've got a real live football game....

Ole Miss and Auburn are playing what is an elimination game. Even though the Rebels lost at LSU last weekend they are still ranked in the top is Auburn. The loser is out of the SEC and National Championship race. They are beating the Jesus out of one another right now.
There's 10:23 left in the ball game and Auburn just scored a touchdown...they've been back and forth from the start.
Ole Miss 31 - Auburn 35
Bo Wallace admitted that last week he lost it to the crowd at LSU (that crowd is worth a touchdown at least)....but tonight he's on it. Mathers (running back) has been knocked out of game but Sanders and Treadwell are doing their part.
Ole Miss driving.
Sometimes the Universe is just against you...Auburn has third and long...Ole Miss tips the ball and it's caught right at first down marker. 4:40...Ole Miss still down 4.
YESSSSS! Auburn fails to convert third down. Ole Miss gets one more chance.
Ha. Good return on punt and then Lewis hits him out of bounds...tack 15 more yards on it.
Walton got his dentures knocked out on that one. 2nd down and 11.
Flag down...holding on defense....First down Ole Miss.
That's a nine yard pick up for Core...and he got out of bounds.
First down Walton...2:16 left. Ole Miss still has two time outs.
That was a heads up play by Engram....he refused to go down and got out of bounds to stop the clock.
Third and three1:39 3rd down and
TOUCHDOWN!!!!! TREADWELL...but he got rocked...he got dragged down from behind and then got smoked up top. His foot is pointing in the wrong direction. It's ugly.
Now on the replay it looks like he might not have gotten in. He may have lost the ball before crossing the goal line...they may have lost their star receiver and the game on that play. Disaster.
Treadwell is the issue right now...they've got the cart out for him. Won't be seeing him again this year. That was hideous.
Auburn football.  &^&U%&%*&^^&%*%*^&%*&%VG*^&%^&%*&%&^...damn, damn, damn.
39 seconds's third down for Auburn. If they can stop Auburn quickly...they've still got a timeout. At best they'll have a couple of seconds for a desperate pass into the endzone.
They got 'em. Ole Miss calls timeout. 36 seconds left. Ole Miss should have 20 seconds or so...which isn't impossible if they play the sidelines.
26 seconds left...Ole Miss has the ball at midfield. Obviously Treadwell's out but, Sanders and Engram are there.
Here we go...incomplete....that's fine it stops the clock.
S*** incomplete again. 16 seconds left...two downs.
It's such a sh**y way to lose a ball game. I defy anybody to hang onto a football while their ankle is being snapped in two...he was inches away from the goal line and there was very little struggle for the ball after he dropped it because a touchdown was called. Auburn just fell on it...after the fact.
This is it...4th down. 
That's that...Heartbreaker.
Somebody...anybody...tell me why I do this to myself every Saturday.


  1. You know I'm sorry but I can't comment on the football, you may as well be writing in Latin ;-)
    But I looked at the pictures and I like them!

  2. Ha.

    I try to put something in there for everybody. The pageant girls are especially killing me.

  3. I can watch the Georgia vs. Florida video (pure comedy btw with a hangover) yet The Allman Brothers Band - One Way Out displays "This video is not available in your country. Sorry about that." Found another though.

    1. "I broke my chair...a metal, steel chair"

      Your radio man is supposed to be on your side but, Larry Munson called games like a desperate fan...and he is universally loved and missed for it.
      He's also a certain type of character you find in SEC football...the Yankee that comes down and goes completely Native.

      I love that track...Elmore James.

  4. Replies
    1. And hate it...Saturday was excruciating.

      I really needed my own team to lose Saturday (so they will fire the moron coach)...but, I couldn't root for them to lose and I couldn't enjoy them blowing out their biggest rival.

      Then Ole Miss loses by half an inch because of the most horrendous injury I've ever seen...half an inch and half a second away from grasping everything...disaster. You can't find higher drama anywhere outside a combat zone.