Showing posts with label North Florida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label North Florida. Show all posts

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Florida v Florida State


I've been worthless around here the last week...here and everywhere else. Martha and The Boy went up north last week to see her parents and every day they were gone I became more and more useless. I think it's my true nature.

Can't sit on my ass today though...today is Florida vs. Florida State. The Georgia Bulldogs are Florida's oldest rival...they are a respected rival from the SEC. There is no respect for Florida Sate...former teachers college that went co-ed to get G.I. Bill money...now known for it's first class circus school and not much else. Literally...if you want to be a clown, FSU is your school.


They've had some football teams though...when you have no admissions standards and you're willing to take on rapists and thieves. They haven't lost a game in two years...not since the Gators curb-stomped them in Tallahassee. They're back there today again...the town where I was born...where my hatred for these Johnny-Come-Lately-New-Money-Low-Rent-Elephant-Dung-Sweepers was born and festered for 13 years.

Go Gators!

Florida opts to kick the ball off and stones FSU on the 10 yard line.

The sight of these two teams excites me more than any other than sports. Neither teams have changed uniforms since at least 1979...it's looked the same since I can remember. I lived with these people and had to listen to their shit for 364 days a year. It mattered more than anything else to me when I was a kid...not much has changed.

The Seminoles got nothing out of that...punt clowns.

G&^ (&*(*&&*^(*&^*(!!!! Gators went hard after the punt and got a roughing the kicker penalty. First down Criminoles.

Replay shows it wasn't even a roughing penalty but, SHIT DON'T MATTER. INTERCEPTION!!!!

Gator ball on FSU 40.

Gator offense sucks balls...and then they tried some trick fake punt but they couldn't get the ball snapped in time. Same inept nonsense we've seen for the last three years but, will not be seeing next year. The coach has mercifully been fired.

Lined back up for a field goal and split the uprights.

Gators 3 - F$U 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAT AN INTERCEPTION. HAHAHAHAHAHA Two possessions...two turnovers!!!

Gator Ball!

Toss to Pittman...1st down Gators.

What an effort...first down Gators.

Another three points for the Gators.

Gators 6 - FSU 0

The Gators are on that ass...they've backed FSU up for more yards than the Seminoles have gained.

D&&&& he smoked that dude. They are beating the crap out of FSU...they may not win the game but they're winning the fight.

Jameis Winston is running for his life out there...fsu punts again.

Gators dropped a bomb on you!

But they can't get any further...another field goal attempt. Knocked it down.

Gators 9 - fsu 0

FSU muffs the kickoff at the 10...then the Gators shut the door. FSU moving backwards again.

Then Jamies throws another interception...Gator ball on the 10...then the Gators throw an interception returned for a touchdown. MOTHER &Y*^(*&T%^(%^%V&*%^*^&*(^&*(^*&*)&YT*(&Y(



Gators 9 - fsu 7

After a typical egregious no-call on FSU pass interference...the Gators punt.

I'm going to make the braising liquid for the ribs...before I start typing things I'll regret.

Seminoles are moving the ball now...on the Florida 10

Third and goal from the 10...touchdown f$u.

Gators 9 - fsu 14

They're getting chippy now...these kids have been playing football with and against each other since pee wee ball. There's a lot of animosity on the field and in the stands. Gators are gonna have to watch it though....fsu won't be called for nonsense by these ACC refs.

First down Gators...could they actually put a drive together.

Another third and long...they're trying to pound the ball...with the idea of wearing the defensive line down but...ef it. Interception.

 
 
FSU ball.
 
He knocked his wisdom teeth out on that one...but it's not really gonna matter.
 
Touchdown FSU...thank goodness it ends today...Muschamp won't e able to do anymore damage after today.
 
Gators 9 - fsu 21
 
 BLOCKED PUNT...TOUCHDOWN GATORS!!!!!
 
We got a game again.
 
Gators 16 - fsu 21
 
Halftime.
 
Great return on the kick off for the Gators. Let's see if they can actually move the ball.
 
Dammit y'all they are moving the ball. Of course FSU was just obviously off sides and it wasn't called but now we have a holding call on the Gators. There's a reason ACC refs aren't allowed in Florida Field anymore.
 
Their still in scoring territory.
 
Another field goal.
 
Gators 19 - fsu 21
 
They are still beating the hell out of them physically...so that's something. They carryin' one of them boys off the field now.
 
Three and out...punt bitches punt.
 
You thought you had an interception..
 
 
Gators picked up another first down...but it's called back on a holding penalty. Of course.
 
Gators punt.
 


Commercial Break...
 
 



After ignoring a huge hold...they call unsportsmanlike on Florida. Bull SH&&&!

 
INTERCEPTION! GATORS BALL!!!!!
 
Unsportsmanlike on Gators....all total 25 yard penalty. This is full on ACC bullshit.
 
After the worst bull shit calls that took the Gators right out of field goal position they miss it. You can't play close with these bullshit people in Tallahassee...you will not stand a chance.
 
Punt criminoles...they'll probably find a way to give you the ball back.
 
Haha...they tried to fake it and were stoned.
 
Gator ball at midfield.
 
Just dropped a bomb on 'em.  They've got to move the ball though.
 
Wide right...another missed field goal.
 
FSU is moving the ball...less than six minutes left but, the Gator D has stiffened.
 
3rd and 18...stop these clowns.
 
FSU gets a field goal
 
Gators 19 - FSu 24
 
This is the situation...the Gators have less than four minutes to score a touchdown. They've scored one all day...right after a turn over. So they're gonna have to drive the field. Something they haven't really been able to do in the four years that Muschamp has been coaching them...but, this is his last three and a half minutes as coach.
 
Gators start on their own 20.
 
First down after scamper by Harris.
 
2:55...left.
 
3rd and 8 yards to a first down...batted down pass.
 
4th down and 8...time out fsu.  The Gators have all their time outs but, for that to work, they'd have to put a three and out on FSU...not likely. So...they're going for it on 4th and 8....Sweet J...
 
HAHASHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH Pass Interference FSU....First DOWN GATORS!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHA
 
Gator Ball at midfield...2:04 left.
 
Two plays...with two ridiculous over throws...it's like desperation. THere's plenty of time. Get your shit together.
 
Another pointless throw.  &^%&^&&&&^^^^^&&&
 
This is it...wide open...dropped it.
 
&^^%% ALL THIS!!!!

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Cairo (Kay-Row)

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Like the sign says...there, between Banbridge and Cairo, Georgia, in Whigham County, on the last Saturday of January...Rattlesnake Round Up. It's not a play on words....it's a mess of rattle snakes that have been rounded up in the area. You can watch them pop balloons and watch idiots be idiots with rattle snakes (I recently saw a man on tv put a bunch of them in his mouth in front of a small crowd for an even smaller fee...he got bit). They demonstrate how the venom is milked for anti-venom and you can eat 'em. I did...breaded and fried. Taste like squirrel...which kinda taste like gator...which really just taste like chicken. That must have been more than 30 years ago now.

They're still rounding them up though. In that part of Georgia and Florida you'll see signs up offering so much money per snake...not enough.

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Tuscaloosa, Alabama...there are many things to love about Tuscaloosa...this is one of them. I don't even know what it was there for...car lot maybe...diner. Who knows. It sits behind a gas station now, near a ledge that separates it from the parking lot of Chinese buffet. It's not a very pleasant block and probably everything on it should be condemned but, I would imagine he persists there because no one wants to claim responsibility for tearing him down.


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Madison Florida...probably the very edge of the cities jurisdiction. There was a bbq and juke there...maybe a hotel. I've been going to Madison all my life...41 years and it's been burnt down, and in that state, at least since then. If they ever do clear that lot I'll cry.

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Somewhere along I-10 in North Florida.

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Is there any place more beautiful in the cosmos than a fireworks stand...No!



Like you're author...North Florida Crackers.