Showing posts with label Cottonmouths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cottonmouths. Show all posts

Monday, May 25, 2015

Do Not Be Alarmed!

These words are typed by me, not in a hospital but, in the comfort of my own back porch. I am alive and well...full of vim and vigor...rejuvenated by yet another failed attempt on my life by Satan's hand puppet.


Screwtape there is a young'n...he'll be black as lump charcoal in a few years...won't be any more full of venom though. He's already wired for sound. I stepped right over him looking for a golf ball. I heard the unmistakable sound of a snake moving over dried leaves right behind me...right behind me. Like at my heel.

F*&%$ER!!!

Long time readers, of this and the various blogs, will know this is not the first time the Devil has sent his dirty workers after me; however, this is the first time I've been tracked out of state. This attempt came in Georgia...Lake Park, Georgia.

Do not be alarmed...I survived the attempted attack...and sent him slithering back to his boss with a message...











Friday, February 28, 2014

Soggy Norton


The prison grounds at Angola are very much like a ranch. Once through the gate you travel a straight road, lined with oaks across flat grass...broken in a couple of places by creeks and ditches. There are horses.

When you leave you head for the hills. Unlike coming out of the Delta at Greenwood, where the initial rise is as steep and abrupt as a roller coaster's, this road skirts the hills, turns back toward the river before making  a gradual ascent. On one side you have these sheer red faces of eroding clay...on the other an incomprehensible tangle of vines, branches and brambles...briars in black wet dirt...and old houses and out buildings.

You'd never see this place in the summer. In fact I've driven by it several times and never noticed it there. It's just as well. I would never have stopped here when the ground was warm. And if there had been any flooding? I wouldn't even look in that direction.

The place is existentially creepy enough...


without our arch enemy curled up in the corner you're about to turn. I don't want to give the impression that we're always running from snakes like some kinda action movie...but, this...this, in the spring and summer, would be begging for it.


The floor boards were spongy enough downstairs...that's why I didn't go up...not because I was afraid a forgotten family member might be up there sitting next to a hole in the wall where the fire place used to be.


Our mold and moss are technicolor (almost a chrome yellow in person).

This must have been a very nice spread at one time (though it had to  have been prone to flooding). There were several outbuilding....one of which, I'm sure, was a kitchen.

The roadside is littered with places like this. They'll all disappear here in a month or so...make a wobbly reappearance next winter...and next year and the next...until the vines finally pull them down and the ground swallows them up.

 

Monday, February 10, 2014

Now a Nemesis

Longtime readers of the various blogs will know that we have an archenemy...one who has, on various occasions, tried to kill us and one that we would seek out and destroy, no matter where he lay...if we were willing to go to places where he might lay.


The Cottonmouth...&5$#ER!

It's bad enough dealing with Satan's tennis bracelet there but now... I've got that bastard Joan Miro trying to ruin my life..

Earlier this evening, I was showing Martha some of my latest work...flippin through the phone.


Y'all know how hesitant I am to talk about myself but...I'm starting to take control here...I'm hotter than Georgia asphalt...I could touch the sky.

(In progress)

"These are really good honey."  Damn right they are. High Five...High Five. Next.


She let out an audible gasp...I could hear it...it was loud.

"No Sugar...that's not me."

"Oh...OK...well it's just really good."

"Yeah I picked up on that."

The picture is on my phone because I love Miro. I spent a solid hour starring at this thing last Friday in the office. He seems to have effortless command over ever line every stroke. He's untouchable...but, now I have to destroy him...that's all.