Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Game


I wanted to post a really smug picture but...I couldn't find one. Curse me for being so humble.
Today for the 131st time, Yale and Harvard will get down for what is the most storied rivalry in all of football...with an Ivy League Championship on the line.
Tackle football is a game that was born in colleges. Yale's first football team was fielded in year after the Rugby Football Union was formed in England. It's part of the same the phenomenon...where various forms of football were being sorted out in the late 19th century. It's not a new game...and it owes a great deal to British expats in the U.S. and Canada.* Like rugby, at the time, the game was thought to be for the better sorts..."not like the coal miners' sons who played English football," as one commentator put it in the 1890's.
It was in the Ivy League and among other elite schools in the North East that game went from a chaotic form of rugby to the game none of you recognize today. Why weren't Southerners involved in the creation of a game they have come to utterly dominate? It's because of an episode that is totally unknown in US history classes...but euphemistically called Reconstruction. We were under occupation being bleed white.
Why am talking about this..I know this stuff and y'all don't care. Have some more old pictures and illustrations.

 Erik F. Bartlam, History MA, 04

*Canadians are not given the credit they deserve for helping to shape the game. Not only do they have their own league with a rich history...they developed crucial aspects of the game.

Yale receives the opening kickoff...they have the number one offense in the lower division they play in. Harvard has the number one scoring defense.

After a quick first down pick up...Yale is forced to punt. They were not forced to kick a crap punt but, they did it anyway.

You think Harvard could work another color into their uniforms...Crimson, Black, White, Gold. Tacky.

Tacky and just had to punt.

Commercial Break.

Dammit....Punt Block.

Harvard ball in the shadow of the endzone.

STONED....Harvard is moving backwards now. 3rd and goal from 11

 Harvard held to a field goal....disaster avoided.

Yale 0 - Harvard 3

Yale is moving the ball now.

HAHAHAHAH...Intelligence and football intelligence are not necessarily compatible. First down Yale because Harvard sent 12 men out on the field. Being able to count is obviously not a requirement for admission to Harvard.

First down and goal on the 6.


Yale 7 - Harvard 3

All because Harvard can't count...

End of the first quarter...
Yale 7 - Harvard 3
Three plays...three plays for a loss...punt. Yale ball on their own 45.

Idiot...move up field with the ball. 4th and 1. Yale takes a timeout.

First down Yale.

They are running all over these idiots.

Dammit...hang on to the ball. 4th and 17...ha they're going for it.

Keep falling on your face morons...we love that.
Ha. Harvard fumbles on the 5 yard line. You thought you were gonna score...
You suck!
First down Yale. 1:05 left in the half...y'all need to pick up the pace.
Yale 7 - Harvard 3
Shit...I got distracted during halftime.
Yale 7 - Harvard 10
Dodged a bullet there...blocked field goal.  Yale ball.
Crap...Yale punts.
This is starting to look shaky....
Yale 7 - Harvard 17
Alright, alright...three plays...three first downs.
I am going to eat my &^%%$$#$#ing car keys. The Yale receiver had the catch for a first down and then it was snatched away and returned for a touchdown.
Yale 7 - Harvard 24

Commercial Break...

Alright then Yale on the one...TOUCHDOWN!!!

Yale 14 - Harvard 24

Hahah...unsportsmanlike on Harvard....

First down Yale on the Harvard 10...this is still a ball game.


Yale 21 - Harvard 24

It's on now clowns.

Program note...Tomorrow 10:30am Hull City v Hotspurs.



That's another first down.

Field goal attempt coming up.....GOT IT!!!!  Tie ballgame.

Yale 24 - Harvard 24

1:31 left Harvard has the ball...3rd and 3.

S***. First down Harvard.

First down Harvard...they are getting nauseatingly close to field goal range.

KISS MY F&^%^^^I*NG GRITS...touchdown Harvard.

Yale 24 - Harvard 31

55 seconds left...that's all Yale has to work with.

First down Yale...out of bounds stops the clock.

Seven seconds...first down and out of bounds. Hot damn

Got it...and out of bounds at the Harvard 26. 20 seconds left.


I hate football.


  1. Hi Erik, I just think you have scored an own goal!!

    1. Like an own goal on penalties kicks...this whole season.

  2. Swanky photo Mr B.

    Don't think you subtle reference to me in the last post's comments has gone by unnoticed....I'm sticking with the compliments :-)

    1. Flattery will get you everywhere with me.....eventually.

      You're on the right track,


  3. Your visuals and palpable despair actually make the game updates pleasantly readable.

    1. I'm glad to hear it...I try..just in case somebody actually reads it.

      Imma need y'all this weekend....the bitterly hated Seminoles of Florida State.

  4. I love the art work on that programme cover, but what on Earth are Yale wearing in the photo? It looks like they've been dragged out of bed and are posing in their pyjamas. Begrudgingly, judging by their expressions.

    1. Looks like long johns...I've seen old athletic pictures with similar get ups. It was New England after all...probably lucky they didn't have to cover their faces. I like the little caps.

      Look at the size of that rugby ball.