Saturday, November 15, 2014

Double Wide

The Sister gets ready for the game.

You couldn't even read this set of circumstances into a Nostradamus quatrain. We see it happening...still and don't believe it. The Mississippi State University Bulldogs, one of the most hapless and maligned programs in the history of SEC football, is undefeated and ranked NUMBER 1 in the nation.

Today they're in Tuscaloosa to face the hated Crimson Tide of Alabama...the most heralded team in SEC football. Alabama has the one loss to Ole Miss...but, they are still very much in the SEC and National Title hunt.

Alabama, because they're Alabama is favored by 8 points but, MSU are a real live football team. It's what we call a slobberknocker ya'll.

Before kickoff I probably should explain the psychology behind the Sister's bleeding hatred of Alabama and the particular tone it takes. Mississippi State is a land grant school...a farm school. Despite the fact that they have a recognized architectural school, they are veterinarians and engineers...but, that doesn't keep the Ole Miss faithful, doctors, lawyers, etc. from tormenting MSU alum about the redness of their necks.

So...Alabama is a chance for the MSU fans to give some of it back.

MSU forces Alabama to punt...but they got horrible field position out of it.

Mississippi State is moving the ball...even if they don't score this is a good sign for the Leghumpers.

Alabama's got the ball again...and they just suckered MSU into a bad pass interference call.

Mississippi State's defensive front is brutal at the point of attack.

Bama punts and again puts the ball inside the 10. This is shaping up to be a real football game. Moving inches at a time...violently.

Right on que...Bama takes Robinson down in the State endzone...Saftey.

Alabama 2 - Mississippi State 0

Alabama got into field goal range and picked up a field goal

Alabama 5 - MSU 0

One thing is clear, Mississippi State belongs on the field with Alabama...they are stout.

State's gonna have to start catching the ball at some point though...geeze

Outstanding play by Wells in the secondary...Bama has to punt.

End of first Quarter

Alabama 5 - MSU 0

What a catch...first down MSU...and they're out of the shadow of their own endzone.

Lewis gets the edge and State's in Alabama territory.

Prescott is smothered...they need him to be able to run.

Interception Alabama...I have no idea where he was throwing that.

Alabama is getting stoned at the line...and their secondary is holding up.

Bama punts.

You can't option the ball 8 yards behind the line of scrimmage...especially on the short side of the field and certainly not against Alabama. Bama ball.

It was just a matter of time...Fowler picks up about 40 on the pass.

Yeldon gashes MSU for a first down.

Yeldon again...acrobatic effort to pick up the first down.

Touchdown pass to Cooper.

Alabama 12 - MSU 0

State has got to show some life on offense now.

That was a ridiculous catch by Cooper...this could get out of hand.

Looked like Henry was in for the score but he fumbled...I'm sure it will be reviewed. This may be too close to overturn but it is Alabama. Get your tinfoil hats out. Now we wait...either State gets the ball and we still have a game or Alabama scored and it could be the beginning of the end.

It goes to Doyle Jackson in the booth and he calls it a touchdown.  The sound you hear outside is black helicopters.

Alabama 19 - MSU 0

Better shake it off dogs.

Light...Prescott hits Johnson for 25

Finally we hear from Robinson...but Prescott is being strangled at the line. It's 4th down and 3. State needs to go for it.

It's on now...unless it's not. Time out MSU.

Prescott gets the first and picks up a facemask call. First down Mississippi State.

Perry blew that s*** up.

3rd and 2

Prescott gets it. MSU has the ball on the Alabama 10 now...they've got to get 7.

Prescott to Wilson...MSU ball on the Alabama 1.

False start on Malone...backs em up five.

That &&^*&^ing penalty made it impossible for MSU to run the ball with 22 seconds left. Three incomplete passes...then 3

Alabama 19 - MSU 3


Mississippi State gets ball to start second half and already we've heard Robinson's name...State has got to figure out how to run the ball. Mainly they've got to relax.

Great pick up for Mississippi State...first down deep in Alabama territory.

Dixon pressured Prescott into an incompletion...

As Martha just dejectedly explained..."You're not gonna win this game with field goals."

Alabama 19 - MSU 6

Hell of an effort by Stuart but not enough...Bama punts.

Bama is still putting the hammer on Prescott.

How does Lewis drop that ball?  MSU punts...unforced errors are killing them.

Bama's knocking on the door again...thanks to another s***y punt from Bell they've only had to cover half the field.

WIDE RIGHT...Bama misses the field goal. State is still in it.

That was balls out by Robinson...First down MSU

Prescott to Wilson...Prescott to Wilson...they're moving the ball and hanging in.

26 yard gain by's on now.

Interception Alabama...another dumb throw.

In the time it took me to burn a square...Bama had to punt and MSU has moved to ball to the Alabama 4 yard line. First and Goal.

End of Third Quarter

Alabama 19 - MSU 6


Touchdown!!! MSU!

Alabama 19 - MSU 13

Bama just picked up an important first down...but, it's not getting any easier for them.


Alabama gets another first the skin of their teeth.

Bama is willing the ball down the field's grown football.

Touchdown Alabama.

Bama 26 - MSU 13

State is moving the ball.

Ragland stops Robinson but not before he picks up 6 or 7 yards.

Third Interception...that might do it y'all.

MSU might lose tonight but anybody who thinks they aren't one of the best teams in the country is a fool.

State stopped them...there's 3:23 left in the game. State needs a quick score and an onside kick. It's a long shot...long...but a shot.

Robinson is shaped like a beer keg...runs like a bull.

State is knocking on the door again....49 seconds.  And they still have to retrieve an onside kick

WTF are they doing running the option...there's less than 30 seconds left. WTF they've got two time outs left. WTF are they doing.

Touchdown Dawgs. 

Alabama 25 - MSU 20.

Onside kick coming up...if they get it...two plays, maybe 3.

Alright then...Bama recovers kick. It' over but State is not out of National Championship race. They played a great game...despite some mistakes.

The Sister is really spewing the hate right now.

I post the following on her behalf...I am not responsible.

Be ready next week clowns. It's The Game.
My Eli's have one loss to Dartmouth this year...Harvard are 9-0. This time next week they'll both be 9-1 but, only YALE will be Ivy League Champs. 
Be there or...continue to be y'all.


  1. As ever in your football posts I do at least understand the pictures. I'm inspired! Inspired to start making and selling bras for backs. I'm off to Dragon's Den!

    1. Can you believe she had the gall to tell me to stop with the class warfare between Ole Miss and Mississippi you know how many times the words Trailer Trash...White Trash came out of her mouth yesterday.

      If it's true that every time someone says Roll ma'am are sitting on a gold mine.

  2. Samuel L Jackson was live tweeting the Georgia - Auburn game last that where y'all were? You sold me out for Samuel L Jackson?

  3. It's like you suddenly started speaking Belgian. That old scorecard is great though.

    1. What about the fact that I was threatened with death? That was in English. I was threatened with violence y' my own flesh and blood...totally unprovoked.

      For the first time in almost 10 years Yale has a serious football we'll be hyped on Saturday.

      Both teams started playing in the 1870's so this old score card is not nearly as old as it could be. Very interesting history became football at these schools.