Saturday, October 25, 2014

Hotty Toddy - Cold Couscous

It wouldn't be my blog if this thing didn't get posted, at least, once a year. The most gloriously ham-tastic intro video ever made for any sports team anywhere ever.

Your Ole Miss Rebels travel to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to get down with the Louisiana State University Bayou Bengals...To-Night! That's our kinda party.

The Boy got the mascots out this morning and put them next to the tv.

For the first time since Cooter Brown was in short britches...Ole Miss is favored to win at Tiger Stadium. Death Valley to you...where the dreams of your team come to die. There was a sports writer...not a Southerner, not an American, no connection to college football...who ranked Tiger Stadium as the 3rd hardest stadium to play the WORLD. Ha.

There's a reason for that...Coonasses.

You may know them as at 7:30 in the morning. Teebaux Tibbideaux and his girl Be-at-trace Broussard....great fun til you get over 100 thousand of 'em in Tiger Stadium, in the dark, after their 50th Bud Light...moved on to whiskey.

All we know for sure about tonight is that the chance of rain is 0%.

It's some bad blood between these two.

LSU is pushing the Ole Miss defense with play action (faking a run and then throwing)...they're able to do it immediately because all we've heard is that LSU is gonna run the ball right at em.

This is great....eventually LSU has to actually run the ball to make it work. They have the phenom. Fournette and Ole Miss is the best tackling defense since dirt.

HAHAHAHA...missed field goal by LSU.

Ole Miss 0 - LSU 0

It's on now...dammit.

Shackleford strips the ball....LSU fumbles through the endzone...HA. OLE MISS BALL!

One play later Wallace to Walton touchdown BITCHES!!!

Bull S***! Bull Sh***...they said Walton stepped out of bounds.

Take that *******ers. First and 10 OLe Miss at the 10 yard line.

TOUCHDDDDDOOOOOOWNNNNNN...nothin' to review on that one.

Ole Miss 7 - LSU 0

Prewitt strips the ball...Ole Miss ball again!!! The Ole Miss defense is a ball breaker.

LSU is methodically moving the ball. This is a great ball game...a real chess match. LSU has a very aggressive defense so Ole Miss is using misdirection...get 'em goin in one direction then switch to the other. The Ole Miss defense is very good but it's set up to cover open field plays...teams that pass the ball all over but, LSU just pounds the ball. They use brute force to run the ball right at you. So far Ole Miss has managed a touchdown but LSU is knocking on the door.

4th and goal...Ole Miss stiffened...field goal LSU.

Ole Miss 7 - LSU 3

Great run by Mathers.

Just found out why Dr. Hillman is not with us tonight.

Text...Am in Baton Rouge.

Text...At the game?



Text...Double :)

This is turning out to be a head knocking football game.

Ooooh Kheen just screwed that. Both teams have Australian punters...and both are really good but, the LSU kicker just &&&&ed that one. Ole Miss ball on LSU 35.

Sweet Jay-SUS.  LSU just backed Ole Miss up on three plays straight...but, the Ole Miss Aussie stuck the ball on the 5 yard line. This is old fashioned, field position, slobberkknocking football.

Interception OLE MISS...Golson.

The Ole Miss offense has gone moribund. They haven't been able to take the crowd out of the game and it's wearing on them.

Dammit...LSU picks up 15 yards. Even if they don't move the ball any further they're flipping the field position....SCRATCH THAT SHIT! INTERCEOPTION OLE MISS!!!

Yeah. They got nothing! And now LSU is pounding the ball. This is the great danger with a team like LSU. They beat on you and beat on you and eventually the defense starts to creak and bow.

Great. Shackleford's on the sideline with cramps...LSU 4th and 1. DAAAAAMIT. First down LSU.

Fournette...the freshman running back that has been compared to Hershel Walker and Bo Jackson just had his face mask ripped off while he was running...he kept moving forward. I've never seen a face mask ripped off...ever.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT....touchdown LSU. Logan Stokes, of Mussel Shoals Alabama, just snatched a touchdown catch.

Ole Miss 7 - LSU 10.

This is bad. 3rd and 10 Ole Miss...FIRST DOWN. Sweet Cup Cakes!

Unbelievable tackle by's over. That was a stupid play....Ssssssssstupid.

One more chance. 1:20 left...clocks running.  If they can get into field goal range...they can tie it up but, they can't pick up 2 yards to save their lives.

Engrham....just f%%%% dropped it. JUST DROPPED IT.

1st down OLE MISS...Unbelievable.

Another 15 yards gets them in field goal range.

31 seconds left.

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA pass interference on idiots. HA. That puts them almost in field goal range. You idiots. Hahahah

21 seconds...14 seconds.

Wallace picks up 10 yards and gets out of bounds...Stops the clock and the kicker has a chance.

Shit...delay of game on Ole Miss. backs kicker up 5 yards. LSU calls timeout. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZe

Oh shit. WhAT THE %%%%%%%%%% was that. LSU calls a timeout and OLE MISS puts the offense back on the field and Wallace throws a f$$$$$ing rock hard stupid interception. WTF????????????

Piss off.


  1. I'll admit it. This is the first time I'ver read one of your football entries right through faithfully. Really helps to have a horse in the race!

    1. The intros are for everybody but, the body is really for me and the lurkers...mainly Dr. Hillman...who as it turns out was actually at the ball game last night. I have fun doing them...except last night was really tense...a real football game.

      Have your friends settled in yet?

      I got a text from him in the middle of the night that summed it up well...enter bad language.

      I have been reading faithfully on your piece but I have not had the sense to put two words together the last week or so...a quick entry about a song or a musician I can do but, I've just been brain dead.

    2. They've settled in and are enjoying it - the only complaint I've heard is they reckon people there think yoghurt is a health food so they can't find any that's not reduced fat.

    3. Haha...Oxford has a tremendous amount to offer, especially for it's food is not one of those things.

      Though I wouldn't give up...them girls on campus may not care about their health but, they cherish skinny so....ask around. Still, an exotic item like that...may call for a trip to Memphis (well..Germantown). :)

  2. This family is a maximum-fat-in-everything sort of family - they want 10% fat greek yoghurt - the kind that's more clotted cream than health food. That hasn't made it to Oxford yet.

    1. Bless them...they have come to the right place.

      Tupelo...I mean depending on how bad you want something. Ordinary shopping items that can't be had in Oxford should be available in Tupelo. It's big enough that it has full service versions of all the chain stores you find across The South or the Country.

      It's pretty cool too...I don't 40 minutes up the road. Nothing for a Canadian.

  3. Reminds me, I used to play it on one of these or something like. I've totally forgotten the rules now though.

    1. Oh Man. If I could get back five minutes for every hour I spent on one of those things it would be like I never smoked the first cigarette.