Sunday, July 27, 2014

Like A Pair of Shitty Pants

Something really shitty happened to Martha this week.

Other than to say she it not hurt and nobody is in jail...I'm not allowed to talk about it... for now.

So, I've written down everything I'd like to say and put it behind this picture.

I can say this much...despite what y'all may believe, because of the high level of sophistication with which I carry stunning good looks, I do not come from gentile stock. I have pure grain 100 proof  Cracker running through my veins...the urge to go completely Red Neck on all this is still strong after three days...but, with some difficulty, I'm behaving myself. I'm exercising restraint.

See how restrained I can be...

Little &^%$$# obviously deserves an Alabama Beatdown but....restraint is the word.

Restraint!!!! MOTHER ^%$##S!!!! RESTRAINT!


  1. The boy has mean left hook. I can't believe you walked into that sucker punch.

    1. Five times.

      He knew I couldn't retaliate because he had glasses on.

  2. Very concerned, but also admit to perking up my ears a bit about you not being 100% Gentile.

    1. No I come from white trash on one side and on the other a glimmer of prosperity that was in rapid decline because of the war. There was nothing for my daddy. I started life in an efficiency motel.

      I was given the greatest inheritance of all...I was born a Southerner. Of course, that comes with a very severe sense of justice...especially where family is involved. I'm having to bite my younger for the moment....hard.

    2. My tongue.
      My younger...wot???

  3. I'm hooked on that "Fancy" bit! But I don't like to think of shitty things happening to Martha, s'not fair. Hope all will be ok.

    1. It's not C. It's really not.
      The bad circumstances are already being resolved. It's what happened that needs to be dealt with. I'm sure it will be...I just need it to start being dealt with before I go a little mad.

  4. I'm not quite as furious today as I was yesterday at the very moment I was trying to respond. There's a couple of reasons for, the people who have perpetrated this outrage, for the moment at least, seem to have no idea what they're doing.

    Two...there are two people for whom watching me get slapped in the face is Christmas in July. One, is my sister. Evidently she hasn't been able to do anything else but watch it for the last three days. Hopefully my nephews have been bathed and fed...their Daddy is really solid.
    The other is our adamparsons. For whatever reason the blog eats his comments. I have the settings wide open (he may be blacklisted by BlogSpot for cuttin' up rough ag'in' em). So...I am taking some meager pleasure in knowing that he desperately wants to tell The Boy what a good job he did but can't.


  5. Oh, hell - I'm going to be checking in ten times a day until you reveal what happened to Martha. I'm feeling all angry and vengeful on your wife's behalf without even knowing what it is that happened to her.

    When you said you weren't gentile, I was expecting the revelation that you're Jewish. Then there was your boy smacking you in the face and waiting for a Daddy explosion that never came. Roller-coaster of a blog all round, Erik!

    1. hahahahahahahahah

      I was so mad when I wrote it I didn't realize I'd revealed myself to be a Jew...and I was furious when I sat down to respond to Spliff so I didn't think of it them.

      Gentle....I GENTLE BACKGROUND....GENTLE. As in peaceful, etc. JAYSUS.

      What a maroon.

      He and I carry on like cartoons (old cartoons) so, while it's still low down and dirty and has caused me to be ridiculed across the wasn't entirely out of bounds. I got him back later when he ran out and tried to put his butt on me before getting in the shower.

      The mood needed a little comic relief.

      Martha is fine...and her situation is already improving but, she doesn't want me to talk about what happened or at least how it happened or the ******************** that did it.

    2. One thing I didn't think about at the time...the Boy was using the screen to target me and he scored a direct hit.

      I have to say, despite it all...I'm impressed.

  6. Replies
    1. We're still arguing about that but, I think it's the one taking the cheapshot...I mean the unprovoked violence of it suggests a certain amount of mental instability. Probably a questionable upbringing.